Life is a bitch, but she’s totally doable (I know at least one person caught the reference…)
I’m really trying to see the upsides in being forced to move home.
This is what I’ve found:
-I have my dog back.
-I will have a shower that’s taller than me.
-No rent payments.
-No utility bills.
But all I can think of is:
-No spontaneous hanging out with people.
-Driving to class every day in the cold.
parents dad thinking they have some sort of control over me once again.
-Awkwardly inviting people over…to my parent’s house. :S
-Isolation, isolation, isolation…
-The potential for certain habits to return…which scares the hell out of me.
-Seeing my mom struggle with 4+ medications, regularly checking her blood pressure so bad things don’t happen and her worsening depression…
I know it might seem silly and selfish because tons of people commute, but it’s not to me. I guess it’s not even the housing situation itself. Being of the independent nature and 1) Not being enough for any employer to hire me and 2) Not being able to be self-sufficient as a result…it kills me inside. The only thing I’ve ever been proud of myself for in my entire life was getting a job. And now that I can’t even manage that after working so hard and turning in countless applications…It really makes me feel useless. And no matter what else I accomplish, I can’t change that feeling until I find work.
I know I’ve talked about this already and I know I’m not the only one struggling, but it’s just really hard.